You know things are changing when you are on the edge of your seat waiting for the next thing to come. I just spent an amazing week at Collegiate Week in Ridgecrest with some very amazing people. I'll be honest, I had a lot of doubts preparing for this trip. All I thought about was what if I get really sick while I'm away or what if this isn't what God wants me to do. Well guess what? There were no signs telling me it was a horrible idea so I packed my bags and loaded into a 15 passenger van for a 12 hour ride. I could have never imagined how utterly amazing my week would turn out.
The God I serve is one that is full of surprises and full of unconditional love, even when we don't think we deserve to be loved. I discovered things about myself, things about my future, and things about my uh-maze-ing God. During the week we had a chance to hear some awesome speakers and a great worship band but we also had time to meditate on what God was showing us. I'd be lying to you if I said I did not cry, so I did. It was not because I was sad but rather amazed at how the Lord was using all of my hard times, my sins, and my desires to grow me closer to him and to teach me.
One seminar I attended talked about forgiving yourself when you've hit the pavement. I will not go into detail about how I've hit the pavement more than one time but I will share with you what I learned. As christians we are so quick to preach the gospel to others but how often do we preach it to ourselves. We say that we are forgiven but where in the Bible does it tell us we are forgiven, besides John 3:16.
A passage I found is Psalm 130:
Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD;
O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.
If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
O Israel, put your hope in the LORD,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.
My God has forgiven every sin I have commited and every sin I will commit. I must ask God to forgive me and I must put my hope in him. By knowing the word, I'm one step closer to being able to forgive myself. I must make changes, and those are in progress. I have to figure out what is holding me back and not allowing me to forgive myself. I have asked forgiveness from the other people so now it's time that I trust the Lord with the situation and know that I am truly forgiven.
One area of my life I have always struggled giving God complete control over is guys. I have always seemed to believe that I know what is best and I'll find Mr. Perfect-for-me in the process of life. Well God has proven my theory wrong. God asked me this week to give that area completely over to him and he will provide in his PERFECT timing. I'm doing it, I am giving him complete control for the first time in my life. The things I thought were important to me are changing but that is because I know what I deserve and what I need. I've always been told Mr. Perfect-for-me will never come along until God knows we are both ready. I'm praying for whoever he is and asking God to mold us into his image so that we will be ready for each other. I encourage each of you to allow God to have complete control in this area. It is a burden that was needing to be carried by someone who could actually control the plans.
I encourage each of you to figure out what God is calling your mission field. For most of us we will never live overseas in what we would call a missions field. God has given each one of us a passion and more than likely you are going to be getting a degree in your passion so that you can use it to glorify God. This week at Collegiate Week we talked about Missional Living and how to change the world we live in. We spoke about the need for clean water, the orphans, the poor, the hurting, the ______ (fill in the blank.) I have always loved children and have for many years said I would adopt a child. The sermon on the orphans and how so many die each day because they have no one to care for them broke my heart. God is calling me to adopt therefore when it's the PERFECT timing I will adopt a children and perhaps one with special needs. (I know, the husband needs to agree) The other people my heart broke for were the poor and hurting. I could not help but cry out to God asking him to take each one of my low-income students and their families into his hands. God is calling me to work with these children, to pray for these children, and to be his hands and feet to these children and their families.
I have so much more to share but I'll close with this for tonight. Find your verse. One that will encourage you when you are down and out and think that God could not forgive you or make you stronger. Whatever that verse is commit it to memory and encourage others with it. I am praying for each of you and hope that God will reveal himself to you in a special way this week. Have an open heart ready to accept whatever God is calling you to do. If he is calling you to change things then don't wait around, start changing now. I will be here for you when you need something but first turn to God and ask him for help, then turn to others.
Much love! = )
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