It seems like everything around me is moving at fast speeds, including me. Last week I was home long enough to sleep at night and be up super early the next morning. I barely have time for any social life, much less myself. As the week went on I noticed how much time I wasn't spending with God and how much I really needed that time. I'm not sure if you've ever noticed, but it's the times when you aren't spending enough time with God that you realize everything is going crazy and you truly can't handle it.
I just started my internship and more than anything I need to be praying. I need to pray for each one of my students, my supervising teacher, my school, and more importantly my witness. I can have a major impact on the students I work with and the people I teach with, therefore I should have a positive attitude and accept each student/teacher as they are. Most of my students are on free lunch and most of them don't have the best of home situations. I don't know why, but God has given me a passion, a huge passion, for these children. My heart goes out to each and everyone of them and yet, I still have trouble not taking things for granted. (sorta like this computer I'm typing on now)
You know when nothing is going right and you feel like the world is out of control... chances are you aren't spending enough time with God. He longs to be the one in control and when he is life is amazing. Of course you'll have your trials and bad times but those times won't be half as bad because you know you'll be pulled through it.
My pastor today was talking about how our life is much like a garage. We start with an empty garage, and slowly we begin to pile boxes and other items in the garage. What was once a two car garage has quickly become a one car garage. We keep the garage door closed so no one else can see the mess that is in there. As we continue our garage is no longer used for cars but rather for all the junk we've collected, and a lot of it isn't worth keeping. Our life is very similar to this illustration. We begin to fill our hearts and lives with the things around us that slowly we begin to take control of what God should be controlling. We make sure to keep the things that would make us a "bad person" to ourselves (keep the garage door closed so no one else can see in). When we begin to realize what is worth keeping and how much greater life is with God in control that garage door will no longer need to be closed because we'll have space for all the necessary items.
God wants to take me on an amazing ride, and you too. I've got to continue and doing so more regularly giving God full control in my life. I have to stop hanging on to the things I thought I could control at one time. Friends are going to come and go and they may let you down periodically. One thing that is true with God, he'll NEVER leave, you will NEVER be alone, and he will NEVER let you down.
The more anxious I get about possibly having surgery again, the more I'm showing myself and God that I don't trust him as much. God you have total control over everything. You know when my medical problems will end and you know the exact diagnosis. In your PERFECT timing and only then, please reveal these things to me. You know the areas where I try to control, and no matter how good I think I am, I constantly fail. Thank you for your new mercies every morning and for your unfailing love and your abundance of grace.
Let God have control today and you'll see tomorrow just how amazing life can truly be when you have no need to worry.
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