Sometimes I wonder if the things I'm doing are going to get me where I wanna go. The only thing that can honestly get me where I'm going is the love of God and knowing I am in the center of his will for my life. Over the course of the last several months doors have opened while other doors have closed.
While finances are not going the greatest for me, and most of those around me, God is still providing in every way. Don't get me wrong, I worry about finances and what I'm going to do the next time when the bills need to be paid. God answered one of my prayers this last week and while I know I don't deserve it, he is still faithful. I will be starting my full-time job on April 30th working with special needs children. What an amazing opportunity I am being given. While going through my Master's program for Exceptional Education, I will get to work with these children daily. I will be able to afford the necessities of life once again.
As friendships continue to change, especially as I am nearing the end of my bachelor's program, God still has those people I'll need most beside me. Friends are starting to make plans to move away, get married, and/or start a new chapter of their lives but we are trying to hang on to the friendship God has blessed us with. I pray that if it be possible some of those friendships will stay intact. While I know my best friend is ready to strangle me, he is still there in the midst of the stupid mistakes I have made along the way.
Do you ever feel like nothing you do is good enough for anyone around you? I've had that very feeling for a while now and it won't seem to go away. I had the chance to share with my best friend just how I was feeling about this and it came down to the conclusion that I shouldn't be worried about it. God is the only person I should be aiming to please and I can assure you that if he isn't pleased then no one around me should be either. I have made my share of mistakes and I am dealing with the emotions that come with it. Don't ever for one second think that you are alone going through something. While I may not know your exact situation, I may have been through a similar one. God's grace is with us in every mistake. No matter what I have done God continues to pour his grace over me daily. I hope that you will accept that grace each day.
I know if you are reading this you think I've got my life together and my relationship with God is amazing. Well I hate to tell you, but my life is falling apart at the seams and my relationship with God is struggling. I have been at odds with him for the last year and half while dealing with my health problems. I have not allowed myself to fully rely on him because I was too upset and couldn't understand why it was happening to me. I have been lying to myself, trying to show everyone that I am okay and have a positive attitude through it all. I'm getting there but I'm very far away at the moment. God and I are working on our relationship and me regaining the trust that he does know everything and it will happen in HIS PREFECT TIMING. I hope that you will be encouraged and know that God is great and he offers us his grace with every mistake we make. Don't feel like you've committed the worst sin and God will never forgive you because he already has. He is simply waiting for you and I to come sorrowfully to him ready to change the way we are and completely surrender to him.
Praying that whoever reads this will feel the love of God and his grace. Each day is a new day and we have to choose to make it the best with God first!
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